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Monday, June 27, 2011

Cronicle of a Bee

I was bothered by a bee in the house all day yesterday. Not intentionally bothered, it only messed with me when I was near it. This all probably sounds a little strange to you, let me explain.

When I got out of bed yesterday I went to use the bathroom like I usually do. I opened the bathroom window, as is my routine. Buzzing on the screen was my arch-nemesis for the day, the bee. Not wanting to deal with this big old mess first thing in the morning, I slammed the window shut, and told myself that I would deal with it later. That was a big mistake, I know now that I should have dealt it then and gotten it over with. And for the record, this was a big bee, one of those ones that are over an inch tall, and are that ugly brown color.

Later in the day, I went back to use the bathroom again. Not thinking I opened the window once more. There was that bee again, but this time he looked a little bit madder. He started to fly toward me, so, me being the big old bug-a-phobic that I am, slammed the window shut once more. I kill a lot of bugs, I thought that this time it could be somebody else's turn. I ended up slamming the window on the bee. I could hear him buzzing around underneath it. I didn't want to open the window up and risk letting a mad bee into the house, so I just pressed down really hard onto the window until the buzzing stoped. No big deal, right? Bug dead and the world is now at peace, clean up to follow.

No, apparently someone else opened that window later in the day. They unknowingly let out a bee that could crawl, but had no wings. A bee that also had a vendetta for me. When I find out who that person was, they will be the next thing that I go after with a shoe.

Late last night, I got out of bed to go to the bathroom before I fell asleep. On my way to the bathroom, I noticed something crawling on my dresser. At first glace I thought it was a big spider (which would have made me freak out that much more) But, after I turned the light on I realized that it was a bee that couldn't fly. After telling it not to move, I ran (as much as I can run) downstairs and grabbed the nearest shoe that I could find. I pounded it into the dresser and waited until the buzzing nose stopped.

It was still not dead. So with the shoe, I beat the bug into a pulp, pick it up with toilet paper and give it a good flush down the toilet. I was quite satisfied.

A bug outside is a beautiful cog in Nature's ever turning wheel. A bug inside is THE ENEMY!!

I still don't know how I feel about bugs on screened in porches . . .

1 comment:

  1. In my family we always say to the bug (right before we smash them into little bitty bits!) "If you don't pay rent you can't stay here."