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Monday, June 27, 2011

Cronicle of a Bee

I was bothered by a bee in the house all day yesterday. Not intentionally bothered, it only messed with me when I was near it. This all probably sounds a little strange to you, let me explain.

When I got out of bed yesterday I went to use the bathroom like I usually do. I opened the bathroom window, as is my routine. Buzzing on the screen was my arch-nemesis for the day, the bee. Not wanting to deal with this big old mess first thing in the morning, I slammed the window shut, and told myself that I would deal with it later. That was a big mistake, I know now that I should have dealt it then and gotten it over with. And for the record, this was a big bee, one of those ones that are over an inch tall, and are that ugly brown color.

Later in the day, I went back to use the bathroom again. Not thinking I opened the window once more. There was that bee again, but this time he looked a little bit madder. He started to fly toward me, so, me being the big old bug-a-phobic that I am, slammed the window shut once more. I kill a lot of bugs, I thought that this time it could be somebody else's turn. I ended up slamming the window on the bee. I could hear him buzzing around underneath it. I didn't want to open the window up and risk letting a mad bee into the house, so I just pressed down really hard onto the window until the buzzing stoped. No big deal, right? Bug dead and the world is now at peace, clean up to follow.

No, apparently someone else opened that window later in the day. They unknowingly let out a bee that could crawl, but had no wings. A bee that also had a vendetta for me. When I find out who that person was, they will be the next thing that I go after with a shoe.

Late last night, I got out of bed to go to the bathroom before I fell asleep. On my way to the bathroom, I noticed something crawling on my dresser. At first glace I thought it was a big spider (which would have made me freak out that much more) But, after I turned the light on I realized that it was a bee that couldn't fly. After telling it not to move, I ran (as much as I can run) downstairs and grabbed the nearest shoe that I could find. I pounded it into the dresser and waited until the buzzing nose stopped.

It was still not dead. So with the shoe, I beat the bug into a pulp, pick it up with toilet paper and give it a good flush down the toilet. I was quite satisfied.

A bug outside is a beautiful cog in Nature's ever turning wheel. A bug inside is THE ENEMY!!

I still don't know how I feel about bugs on screened in porches . . .

Friday, June 24, 2011

All day yesterday I had a desire for finished stuff. I just wanted to have drifts and drifts of finished stuff to be gathered around me. I wanted to suffocate in the doneness of it all. I wanted to not only finish all the knitting, but I wanted to finish the writing, clean the kitchen, fold the laundry, make the bed, vacuum the stairs, weed the garden, sweep the porch, and read every unread book that I own. I ended up just standing in the living room doing that flippy-floppy thing with my hands. I needed a little direction, as I do quite often in my life. So, by the end of yesterday, I was determined to finish something, anything at all.

I had a pair of socks on the needles. These socks were different from the rest of the socks on my needles. (one other pair, not that big a deal, they don't deserve the plural) These socks were almost done. They had just one little toe to go, and I couldn't let them go unfinished.

So I pulled out the latest New Yorker, determined to finish it before the new one came. (I might add that it is a day late. This sort of thing happens to me a lot) and I sat there, multi-tasking my little heart out. There is no experience that exceeds reading while I knit, I feel so smart and clever.

Despite several distractions, and people wanting crap from me (which was less than usual) I was done a little while before bed. I even grafted the toes and wove in the ends. (Do you see who serious I was!! I wove in the ends the moment that I was done!! Does that prove to you just how serious I was about needing done stuff!!)

The socks are made out of Berreco Comfort sock, a very nice sock yarn if I ever saw one. It is made out of a rib and cable pattern that changes from rib to cable about every inch and half. The cable, and the rib for that matter, is on two stitches separated by one little purl stitch. They are going to be put away (for exactly six months and one day) as a Christmas present for my mother. Over plan much? Oh please, I was working on 2011 Christmas during 2010 Christmas. (It was kind of an accident, long story)

It is a Friday, I just went out to get the mail and the new New Yorker came. It is gently raining outside and it will be for a while. The windows are open and I can smell the sweet air drifting through them. I have done all my work for the day, and will probably spend the night nursing a hot cup of tea and the sweater that will never end. (I'll tell you about it later.) Tonight is clean sheet night. All the twitchy feelings have gone away, and I am more than happy to do nothing. I can only hope that I feel the same way while I'm trying to sleep.

Sunday, June 19, 2011


No, I haven't fallen, and I most certainly can get up. (At least at the moment, we'll see about tomorrow.)What I need help with is the novel. (Dear holy heaven I hate calling it that.) I have a character that has a secret. My protagonist is a little suspicious about him.

My big dilemma is what should his secret be? Should he be an axe murder, a sex addict, or a member of the Mafia? Or are all of these dumb? Am I dumb?  (We can get to that one later.) I need help. I have to figure out what the hell is wrong with this guy before I can move on.

Throw out any ideas. There may only be a few of you, but I trust your judgement.

Friday, June 17, 2011

My it has been a while, and for that I am really sorry. The thing is, that since I finished the book, I started another book. And while they first one was written as an old man telling a story of how he fell in love, (Kind of like How I met your Mother) this one is about a divorced woman who drives around the country to try and find herself. And that one is written as a diary, so it is like I am writing a couple of blog entries a day. Pretty entertaining to write, but it makes blogging feel less like a hobby.
And I must say that it is a relief to write as me, not a character. I fear that I am starting to think exactly like a character, which isn't a bad thing, mostly because the character thinks a lot like me. But it still is rather upsetting. I kind of narrate my days, so it would make for good blogging, but I have a crappy memory.

And the other reason that I haven't posted is because I don't really have anything to talk about. I am still knitting, I still start projects that I know I shouldn't. My life is still rather dull, and I still drink a lot of coffee. And now that Desperate Housewives is in re-runs, I don't really have that much to talk about. Like really, the most exciting thing in life is that I ordered a book that wasn't about knitting, and then Barnes and Nobel messed it all up.

(And the way that blogger messed up my posting was a little thrilling. Great, now I have to re-edit. I barely even edit.)

Happy Friday All!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Look at the FO's (Read about the FO's)

Here an FO*, there a FO, Everywhere an FO.

I am knitting so fast these days that my knitting was fallen behind my blogging. (That and my terrible case of startits, I am learning to move beyond it; I must say that I am failing.) I've got several FO's that I need to blog about.

I think that I have finished three things, but I only can remember two. The third might be a dishcloth or some such; nothing of any importance, believe me, you would know if I finished anything important.

1. A little pair of socks that bother me more than ants in the kitchen. They bother me so much I think about cutting them into little bits and burning them underneath a full moon while I dance naked around them in hopes of better socks. They bothered me while I was knitting them, and they also bother me now that I am done. Number One Husband Socks, I wouldn't knit them if I were you. The pattern looks great, but it took me forever to make, I started these last September, and they were done on May 21st. The only reason I remember that is because it was supposed to be Judgement Day; they now say that the world will end in October, funny fundamentalist Christians.

I ran out of yarn on the last toe. The socks were in a really dark Navy Blue, so I made the toe in the whitest white that I could find. Then I ripped back the other toe, and made it to match; I really like the effect of it. I love it when a mistake like that turns out to make the socks. If only it worked that way every time.

The socks sag like you wouldn't believe though. I had to wear my braces just to keep them from falling down. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself about the braces. I really am wearing them becuase I was a terrible person in a past life, or because I had short tendons. One of those three for sure though.

(While I was looking for the link above, I read about the problems at ravelry. I changed my password then and there. I will now spend the rest of my day changing them on all my other accounts. I first went with a password similar to my old one, but I changed it to something that is totally cool and something that I will probably never remember.)

2. This sweater got the buttons sewn on it, after only having the knitting done for a few weeks. I Hate sewing. I did it while on the phone, just so I would hate it less.

This sweater only a lot nicer, and a lot bigger, and a lot more colorful (that word needs a U) Oh, and it is now a cardigan. I do love me some Elizabeth Zimmerann, and this is based on her Seamless Yoke sweater that I could knit again and again, and yet never knit the same sweater twice.

Off to go work on some more WIP clearing, I can't wait to start something new.

*For non-knitters who have a life, The abbreviation FO means Finished Object. I save a whole twenty seconds in my day by abbreviating that. I spend longer than that typing this note. What I do to educate the ignorant!